WeCanGist: 2016

Friday, 16 September 2016

Senior Advocate Agbakoba writes Buhari, Others on way out of the economic hardship

Former president of the Nigeria Bar Association (NBA), Dr. Olisa Agbakoba
(SAN) has written to President Muhammadu Buhari, with suggestions on how
Nigeria can get out of recession.

by Dr. Peregrino Brimah
While the Federal government of Nigeria has repeatedly announced that Boko
Haram no longer holds on to any territory in Nigeria, the commander of the
United States Africa Command (USAFRICOM), David Rodriguez in March this
year challenged that claim. Boko Haram "does own some significant territory in
northern Nigeria," Rodriguez told the Senate Armed Services Committee in
Washington.

The cute actress and model is sure finding her place in the entertainment

industry. Looking beautiful.

Fixing economy without fixing monopolies: Mission Impossible

by Tabia Princewill
All our talk of reforms, no matter the administration, never seem to quite
tackle the root causes of issues, dancing instead on the periphery, latched on
to the hypocritical desire to appear to perform rather than dealing with
problems decisively.

In this interview, Blessing Okagbare says even without a medal, London was by
far better than Rio for her and other ladies in Team Nigeria. She spoke
to Punch's Pius Ayinor. Brief excerpts:

The Illusion of Our Earthly Lives

by Tony Ogunlowo
Every three years in the village of Toraja in South Sualwesi, in
Indonesia they hold a very strange festival. They exhume the
bodies of their deceased relatives, clean them up, dress them in
new clothes and put them on display.

Young and beautiful Jessica Beer, the 19yrs old female student
of Dyege Memorial College, Akpehe, Makurdi, Benue State, who
committed suicide did it because her her boyfriend, identified as
Labi, got another lady pregnant and subsequently broke up with
her.

Money Getting Scarce: Try To Avoid Unnecessary Spending

Adequate caution is necessary at this time, for you not to run
into financial issues in months ahead....
Be prepared to let go of some things and spend only when
necessary. If you have saved money, try not to touch it quickly.
Avoid capital projects until you are certain of replenishing your
bank accounts. Avoid social travels that bring no added income
for now.

The song, Wait For Me, by King Sunny Ade and Onyeka
Onwenu would remain evergreen and of course, many years ago,
some believed that the duo would have had one or two things
going on between them for them to have released such song.

Before now, the music industry in Nigeria used to be one of the
most lucrative sectors. On daily and weekly basis, new artistes
and even groups popped up in almost every nook and cranny
trying to find fame and above all – fortune in Millions.
From sold-out musical concerts to widely-attended comedy
shows. Wedding ceremonies and other social gatherings also pay
entertainers to add colour to the event.

MY WEDDING NIGHT 20, 21 , 22 and 23

Wedding Night Episode 20
I pushed Esther to her bed, grabbed the gun and
rushed to my brother who luckily was still
standing.

I’m No More Inspired To Sing About Nigeria – Kollington Ayinla

Seasoned fuji artiste, Kolawole Ayinla, popularly called Kollington
Ayinla, has said he is no longer inspired to sing about Nigeria, as
he used to do with pride in the past.

28yrs old Elochukwu Nnoruga is to spend 6 months in jail for
stealing N214,000 tithe belonging to St. Patrick Catholic Church,
Idumaigbo, Lagos.

CLUB ADVENTURE - Episode 1 and 2 Short Story)

Episode 1

A typicall Friday night for me is the club. I
need to unwind after a hard week of work.
Monday to Friday is the usual grind of the mill
period, work and work till the point of
exhaustion. So

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 18,19 and 20

wedding night
Episode 17
I surveyed the area for the last time, reached
inside my black jacket and touched the pistol my
brother gave me minutes earlier.

Footage of a bizarre looking pig has emerged online .The
creature appears to have a human face and a 'penis on its
forehead.

With all sorts of negative and positive "vibes" flying around in the
social media, this advise is timely.

The actress looking like a teenager ..Nothing beats a woman who
is confident in her own skin !

Read the Interesting Story of the Famous ALAJO SOMOLU

While growing up in Port Harcourt, I heard my parents use the
words "ALAJO SOMOLU" on many occasions in a positive remark,
without having an idea of the story behind the 'character'.
Here's the story as shared by Consultville:
Alphaeus Taiwo Olunaike is not a name that many Nigerians are
familiar with. But once you mention Baba Alajo Somolu, the eyes
of millions of Nigerians will light up. Yes, they are more familiar
with this nomenclature.

The wonders of make-up!

Christian Groups Confront FG...Say Sultan of Sokoto Can't Be Dictating Public Holidays

A coalition of 22 Christian groups in Nigeria led by National
Christian Elders Forum (NCEF) has condemned the federal
government over the declaration of September 12 as public
holiday in commemoration of Eid-el-Kabir celebration by Sultan
of Sokoto and President-General of Supreme Council for Islamic
Affairs, stating that it smacks of usurpation of government
functions.

Most problems in marriages today started when individual men
started forming churches and making their wife head of marriage
counseling, and their wife started propagating funny doctrines
with the support of their husband (the Pastor) claiming that
husband and wife are equal.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg posted favourite photos
from his trips to Rome, Nigeria and Kenya, describing the
countries as very welcoming.

How time flies! See more below...

MY WEDDING NIGHT -Episode 14,15,16

wedding night . Episode 14
Later in the evening my brother came visiting
with a flask filled with food, but food really
wasn't what i needed that moment.
"i'm sorry for coming late, i really was held up
with work. Dad is now safely home. I spoke with
him few minutes ago" he said pleasantly while i
ate slowly.
"so what's up, any breaking news?" he asked
when i was done eating. I forced out a smile,
thanked him for the food before telling him all
that happened earlier in the day. He listened
eagerly, frowning when i got to the suicide part
of the plan.
"no no no i don't support that. What's the
detective thinking by suggesting such nonsense.
No that's bad" he said seriously, but before i
could answer, detective Jeremiah showed up
that moment with a heavy frown on his face.
"i'm afraid i brought more bad news" he said as
he stopped before us.
"the Americans are now pushing for the case to
be moved to their country" he calmly announced.
My brother and I gasped with shock.
"i got a call few minutes ago to prepare and
document every thing i have on the case. We
don't even have the two days anymore" he
explained seriously.
"but that's impossible!. The murder was
committed in Nigerian soil. The trial should be
here" my brother protested seriously.
"I think you should take that up with the federal
government if you have the right connections. I
really had the feeling such a thing could happen
but kept it to myself. Our leaders hardly deny the
American government anything and this case is
nothing different. Seriously many things has been
happening which are swept under the carpet
without the public knowing" he summarized with
resignation.
"but i can go to court. I can stop them legally?"
my brother asked seriously. The detective
breathed deeply and shrugged.
"well if you can get the court to sit before your
sister is moved out of the country. Then yes you
can. But she's married to an American citizen
which somehow makes her an American as well,
moreover i learnt her dead husband already
procured all necessary travelling papers for her
before his death, which makes everything a lot
easier for the Americans" he answered.
"damn" my brother cursed.
"but we still have till morning to come up with
something new" he added while i cleared my
throat and spoke out for the first time.
"i think i have a plan" i suddenly announced,
surprising my brother and the detective with the
cold smile which appeared on my face with the
revelation.
Of course i had a new plan in my mind. A plan
which was nothing close to the suicide attempt
the detective proposed earlier in the day.
So what kind of new plan came to my mind that
crucial moment?? Hmmmm

MY WEDDING NIGHT
Episode 15 and 16
Episode 15 “so tell us what you have in mind?”
the detective asked curiously. “well before i say
anything, I’ll like to know if the so called Esther
that got me into this mess is still staying at my
husband’s house?” i asked while the detective
nodded. “yes she is at the house. She chose
staying their with your mother in law and four
other people while the rest moved to a hotel but
my department is still in possession of all their
passports. So what has that got to do with your
plan?” he answered and asked seriously. “a lot
officer. It has a lot to do with my plans” i
answered calmly. “yes go on” my brother urged
desperately. “i can sneak into the compound,
sneak up on Esther and make her confess. I
know the house very well and i very much know
the weak spots i can use in gaining access to
any room i so desire” i poured out breathlessly.
My brother scoffed while the detective laughed.
“you must be kidding, how on earth can you get
her to confess?” my brother asked with disbelief
“have you forgotten that i’m a woman. I know
how to get a fellow woman to talk. Moreover
Esther won’t find it hard opening up her mouth,
since to her, i’m good as dead and it equally
would be her word against mine. But if i can
record everything with my phone without her
knowledge won’t the case be solved?. Please
just allow me to have access to the house, i’m
very sure i can do it” i pleaded desperately. The
detective scratched his head and breathed
deeply. “have you forgotten that you are
supposed to be in police cell?. How do i explain
your disappearance?. No no no, even though your
plan sounds tempting, i can’t allow it. I can’t put
my ass on the line in such way” he said slowly,
while i grabbed him strongly. “this is the only
chance i got, please help me. If things go bad
you can say i escaped from jail. You can
fabricate anything and put on me. Please i beg
of you” i begged passionately. He breathed
deeply and nodded. “fine i’m in but if things go
bad, you are on your own” he accepted, drawing
great smile from me with his words. I hugged
him with gratitude. “just pray it doesn’t go bad.
This is the only shot you got to redeem yourself.
Don’t waste it” he advised while i nodded. It all
appeared too easy to say but deep down i knew
it was a very difficult task with high risk of
failing. However I was very determined to carry it
out. After all i had nothing to lose trying.
Episode 16
“so when do you plan
heading to the house?” the
detective asked seconds
later.
“it should be tonight, by
10pm. The neighbourhood
will be dark and lonely by
that time” i answered
quickly.
“that’s okay but without a
good recorder and hand
gloves, i doubt if your
mission will be successful. I
can get them for you.
Thank me later” he offered
with a smile.
“oh thanks very much. You
are indeed an angel” i
thanked him.
“i think we are forgetting
something. We are yet to
come up with a plan on
how to get her out of this
place without your
colleagues noticing” my
brother queried
suspiciously.
“leave that to me. I’ll get
your sister out myself, but
you will be right outside
the premises to pick her up.
You will be the person to
drive her to the house” the
detective said while my
brother nodded in
agreement.
“now get ready, in thirty
minutes we should be out
of here” he added.
“but it’s still 6:30pm i
thought she’s breaking into
the house by 10pm?” my
brother asked with
surprise.
“yea she is, but i can’t be
able to get her out of this
place by that time. I can
only get her out in thirty
minutes while you then
take her to your house or
anywhere till showtime” he
answered. I breathed
deeply. I really was
nervous.
_____

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 11,12,13

Episode 11
Esther tried opening her mouth to say something,
but the lawyer quickly held her hand, stopping
her.
"don't say anything. The officer is bluffing. He's
trying to make you say something that could
incriminate you" he said to her before facing
detective Jeremiah.

"if you really have the evidence to arrest my
client, then go ahead, arrest her. But if you don't,
then shut the fuck up and do your goddamn
work. Mind you, time is running out and you have
only two days. The next time you will see me will
be in court" he threatened, shocking the
detective with his words.

Of course not only the detective was shocked, I
equally was very shocked because Esther was
probably seconds away from confessing or
making an unguided comment before the lawyer
recovered himself and stopped her.

"two days officer. You have just two days, else i
will tear you apart in court" the lawyer
threatened and dragged Esther out of the office.
"we were just close to making a breakthrough
damn" the detective hissed with despair after
they left.

"so what next?" i asked with fear. He breathed
deeply, opened the case file on his table, went
through it and shook his head.

"things are slowly adding up in your favour but
we don't have time on our side. We surely need
a miracle" he replied, looked up at me and smiled
to make me feel relaxed but i surely wasn't.
"remember we talked about the possibility of
your husband going out to the garden the night
he was killed to either smoke or see someone?"
he said while i nodded.

"according to the report in this file, there wasn't
any cigarette stick, ashes nor even anything
similar found at the garden which then leaves us
with one theory. He went out there to see
someone, probably Esther, before a stronger
person grabbed him from behind and stabbed
him" he concluded.

"how then do we find the mystery man that
struck the fatal blow which killed my husband?" i
asked desperately. The detective shrugged.
"that's what i'm saying, we need more time, as it
stands, Esther alone probably holds all the
answers but we can't touch her" he replied with
resignation.

Tears instantly dropped from my
eyes.
The police had every reason to detain Esther but
couldn't because she was a foreigner. Instead i
was the person being detained without due
process. How bad can things get??

wedding night Episode 12
"I know you are helping me officer but you got to
do more, you have to try every necessary means
to free me. Please i beg of you" i cried, kneeling
before Detective Jeremiah who quickly looked
away with embarrassment"
"please madam stand up, don't kneel for me, i'm
not God" he begged but i still knelt, shedding
more tears. A junior officer came into the
detective's office that moment bearing a file.
"here are the rest of the results sir" he said to
the detective who quickly snatched the file from
him while i looked on hopefully.
"you can leave now" he dismissed the officer
before going through the file.
"nothing new jeez, this case is really something
else" he said to himself as he went through the
file while i swallowed hard, confused on what
next to do.
"does it mean i'm going to hang for a crime i
didn't commit?. Can't you run more tests" i
asked curiously.
"my dear our police department is one of the
best in Africa. I have conducted all the
necessary tests including fingerprint and DNA
matching. The people that killed your husband
had it well planned out and left no trace of
anything. The only clear prints found on your
husband's body belongs to you, the rest are
blurred. The murder weapon had only your
mother in law's prints on it. So you see there is
nothing we can use from the test results, we
have nothing. The person that killed your
husband probably wore gloves, only if we can
get those gloves" he concluded, while i cried out
with the last strength in me.
"hey shut up, you are in the police station, don't
you know?" the detective frowned and stood up.
"please shoot me, shoot me, shoot me" i begged
with tears, forcing him to look away once again.
"seriously madam, this is slowly slipping from
me. I have only two options left, which are pretty
hard" he said and swallowed hard while i stared
at him hopefully, wiping my tears.
"Number one. I play the good cop bad cop
tactics on Esther, by secretly getting another
audience with her. This time with another officer.
We will then present some selling lies and my
colleague will ask for money to keep us quiet.
Most whites think we are all corrupt. So i feel
she will buy my offer, and through that
opportunity, i can get her to talk. The only bad
side of it, is that if it goes bad, i can be fired
from the force. The second option is presenting
my facts to your mother inlaw, get her to reveal
more details about her white guests to me. I'll
then do what we call profiling, which will enable
me get the man who killed your husband. Esther
is no fool, she had no time to hire a local hitman.
She probably brought the killer along as her
brother, cousin or friend. The only bad side of
this plan is that it may take more than two days
to accomplish which then leaves us with one
option which you must do yourself to avoid trial.
If i fail to meet up with the deadline" he
concluded seriously.
"so what's the option?" i asked.
"oh it's very dangerous. A very dangerous option"
he murmured.

wedding Night Episode 13
"I can do anything to free myself. Please just
speak up" I pleaded. The detective shook his
head, bit his lips and stared at me.
"hmmmm, if i'm unable to make any
breakthrough within two days, you will have to
harm yourself in a way that it will be impossible
to put you up for trial. That's the only way out"
he said cautiously.
"wait a minute, I don't understand. You mean i
should harm myself?, in what way officer?" i
asked with disbelief. He drew closer to me and
squatted by my side.
"that's the only way to escape trial for some
days. I can smuggle in some pills that will knock
you out. So instead of finding yourself in the
courtroom, you will find yourself in the hospital.
However it can be added to your charges but i
believe your lawyer won't have a hard time
winning over the charge. But you also have to
swear to keep your mouth shut if it comes to
that. You know i can equally end up in prison
over it" he said seriously, while i nodded.
I couldn't even find the voice to talk. The plan
was just so terrible to hear. Of course it was
nothing but a sucidal plan. I knew the health
implications of such deed, but it was a better
option than prison. Seriously the detective was
going out of line just to save a clueless lady like
me. It wasn't as if we paid him to help me. He
simply was doing it for free.
As if he knew what was going through my mind.
He reached out and held my hands.
"when i joined the force newly. A young male
student was picked up by our patrol team some
miles away from a Robbery scene. We all knew
the boy was innocent but still held him just to
prove a point that we were working. Unknown to
us, the boy was asthmatic and as soon as he
was thrown into the cell, his health condition go
very bad and before we could run around. He
died. Since that moment, i decided to help the
innocent. But you see, in police work it's not
always easy to be on the right path because we
all obey orders and answer to our superiors
whether we like it or not" He said softly.
"you are a bright young woman but i'm afraid, if i
fail to get good results. You will have to take
your destiny in your hands. You will have to harm
yourself. That's the only thing that can buy us
more time. Yes you will try committing suicide
but I'll be right on time to save your life. Anyway
let's pray it doesn't come to that" he concluded
and stood up while my head swelled with
thoughts.
"God please don't allow things to get that bad.
Don't allow me to try out suicide as an option" i
prayed softly.
It was such a difficult moment and decision to
take. However i still had two days which was
enough time for a miracle to happen.

MY WEDDING NIGHT '10

Episode 10
I soon regained myself to
see two female police
officers and Nancy by my
side. Detective Jeremiah
stood a distance away,
watching me with great
interest.
“hope you have eaten
today?” one of the female
officers asked me.
“yea” i nodded, breathing
heavily.
“you have to get a grip of
yourself if you ever want
to win this case. You got to
be strong. Esther Hardey
will be here in few minutes
for questioning” the
Detective said to me.
“please i want to be
present when she’s being
questioned. I want to see
her face” i begged weakly.
“no i can’t do that, i have
already broken a lot of
protocols for you” he
answered quickly.
“I beg of you. Remember
we are talking about my
husband’s murder. Help a
widow” i pushed
passionately. He breathed
deeply and shrugged.
“i hope i don’t get fired for
all i’m doing for you. Well
you have to freshen up
first, secondly you must
promise not to say a word
to the lady when you meet
her” he said seriously.
“oh yes, i promise not to
say a word” i answered,
while he smiled and left.
“the detective is a
wonderful man. He will help
you out” the second female
cop said to me, nodding
with a smile.
_______
After freshening up in one
of the bathrooms, i was led
to the detective’s office,
where i sat and waited for
the so called Esther Hardey
to show up.
She showed up precisely
ten minutes later with the
same annoying white
lawyer who threatened my
brother. They all stared at
me with surprise as they
walked into the detective’s
office.
“what is this murderer
doing here?” the lawyer
asked with anger. Detective
Jeremiah smiled and shook
his head.
“As a lawyer, you should
know that no suspect is
guilty until a court of law
gives verdict. She’s a
suspect just like the lady
that brought you along” he
answered the Lawyer who
bit his lips angrily.
“i’m taking none of this shit
any longer. If you can’t do
your job, better resign. My
clients are tired of being
detained in this country for
no justifiable reason. They
all want to go home and i
give you two days to make
it happen, else the fury of
the American government
will be on the whole
Nigerian police force. You
can’t just keep everyone
hostage” he threatened.
“oh i see you are
representing all the
Americans involved in this
case, but i feel that will
change soon” the detective
added quietly.
“what if i tell you, i have
enough evidence to throw
one of your clients in the
cell right now?” he pushed
on.
“Esther Hardey, she was at
the house when the crime
was committed. She was
Damian’s fiancee, am i
wrong?” he asked the
lawyer who kept quiet.
“Esther had the motive and
mindset to commit such
murder and according to
test results we have so far,
she was physically present
in one of the crime scenes
which invariably places her
in a bad position. I pin the
murder charge on her.
Phewwww case closed. I
get promoted” The
detective concluded with a
smile, while the lawyer
instantly grew tense and
stared at Esther with a
coloured face.
Of course the detective had
nothing strong to pin down
the lady, but as a good
officer he pulled a fast one
on the white lawyer who
for the first time looked
beaten. It was time to
prove how good a lawyer
he was….
I prayed silently. I prayed
for the detective’s stunt to
work.
“your client should use this
opportunity to come out
clean or Damian’s mother
won’t like what i plan
telling her” the detective
pushed on, while Esther
coloured up. It was obvious
she was hiding something
“oh Lord, make her to
confess” i prayed

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 9

Episode 9
“officer i’m all ears, tell me
the news you bear” i asked
with fear. The detective
threw a swift look at Nancy
who shifted uneasily.
“well i don’t think now it’s a
good time. It’s something
private” he replied, forcing
me to smile quickly.
“Nancy is like a sister to me.
She knows almost
everything about me. You
can say anything in her
presence” i urged him
nervously.
“Esther Hardey” he
instantly called out,
searching my face for any
reaction. But the name he
mentioned only drew me
into another pit of
confusion. The name
sounded so strange and
unfamiliar.
“i don’t understand, i
haven’t heard such name
anywhere” i breathed with
confusion.
“that’s the name of your
husband’s fiancee. A white
lady he was supposed to
Marry. The lady he left to
marry you in order to fulfill
the promise he made to
you” he explained. A cold
shiver instantly ran down
my spine.
“so are you insinuating that
Damian married me just to
fulfill a promise?” i asked
sadly,
“well I never knew he was
engaged to any woman,
seriously i thought all the
ladies he played were just
flings” I murmured.
“that’s not the problem” he
continued, breathing
deeply.
“the lady in question is
currently in Nigeria and
was among the people that
came into the country with
your husband’s family and
equally was present at the
house when the crime was
committed” he explained,
while i stared at him with a
little hope.
“that isn’t bad news, is it?.
The lady definitely killed
him. She had the motive
and opportunity.
Unbelievable” i poured out
desperately but the
detective simply shrugged.
“yes she has the motive
and opportunity, but we
can’t just arrest her
without strong reason. All i
can do is to invite her for a
little questioning and
equally pray she doesn’t
lawyer up” he answered,
breaking my worn out
spirit.
“however we are still
matching the DNA stuff we
got from the scene and
your husband’s body. I
believe something positive
will come out of it, but my
only problem is that my
superiors are putting much
weight and interest in this
case. They are pushing for
closure and speedy trial
which really will put you up
as the scapegoat, if you are
to be dragged to court
without me finishing my
investigations. You really
need to pray my dear. You
know how bad our Judicial
system can be, moreover
the Americans wants you
to hang” he concluded,
while my heart froze.
I instantly fell, collapsing on
the floor within seconds….
I fainted.

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 8

Episode 8
“You have to hold on tight
dear, we are getting you
out in no time. The
detective promised to give
you special treatment. So
just hold on for a little
longer” my brother begged
before leaving with my
dad.
However my day never had
a dull moment because
soon after they left, two of
my colleagues came to see
me as if they cared. I
already knew they simply
came to confirm things
with their eyes, but that’s
one of the things in life we
have no control over.
No matter what we do, we
must have haters, we must
have people who pretend
to care and we also must
have people whose only
motive is to bring you
down.
Later in the afternoon, my
friend Nancy also came to
see me. It really was painful
receiving such visits in a
police cell.
Yea you guys should just
for a moment reflect how it
feels to be receiving your
friends and colleagues, days
after your wedding in a
police cell. Horrible isn’t it??.
Nancy shed real tears on
seeing me, her face
coloured deeply. The shock
in her very apparent.
“I heard Rumours, I never
believed till this very
moment” she said quietly. I
swallowed hard and
nodded.
Nancy was my old time pal.
We attended the same
university, stayed in the
same hostel and did our
Nysc the same time, though
in different states. Her
parents were a bit wealthy
and lived in the capital city.
She returned to live with
them after Nysc while i
came over to live with my
brother. However i was
fortunate to get a good job
while she managed a little
teaching job in her
neighbourhood. We still
remained very close even
after we disagreed over
Damian. She was of the
opinion that i was being
overly ambitious, insisting
that i was throwing away
my life for money. I guess
she was right?, but she
merely objected to my
relationship with Damian
simply because i dropped
my young boyfriend whom
she much preferred, in
order to move on with
Damian.
Yea Justice was the boy’s
name, we were age mates
and equally served {NYSC}
the same time. He was a
good kid but c’mon i
couldn’t waste my future
by waiting for him. He was
even yet to get a job till the
very moment i landed in
the police cell.
Justice had a lot to do
before thinking of settling
down and i couldn’t take
the risk of waiting for him.
At least i was good enough
to keep him till we rounded
up with Nysc unlike some
of my course mates who
dumped their boyfriends to
get married in final year.
“Damian brought only
trouble just like i feared. My
God this is a terrible
Nightmare” Nancy sobbed. I
simply stared at her, not
knowing what to say. But
just that exact second,
detective Jeremiah showed
up with a dark smile.
“you may not like the news
i bear” he announced and
came forward while i
almost fainted with fear…. I
couldn’t bear taking
another bad news.

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 7

Episode 7
By 8am the next day, my
brother showed up with
my old father and detective
Jeremiah. They all look very
serious and tired. My heart
bled as i saw tears form in
my old man’s eyes.
“my darling you shouldn’t
be here” he breathed
painfully. I forced out a
smile to assure him that i
was alright.
“don’t worry sir, we are
coming close to solving this
case. I’m working round the
clock to make sure i solve
the puzzles in the case. In
no time your daughter will
be out of here” the
detective said to him.
“Officer please tell us what
you have gotten so far. Tell
us how far you have
gotten” my brother asked
anxiously.
“you know it isn’t in our
conduct to be revealing our
investigations to people
but nevertheless i will tell
you guys how far i have
gotten” he answered, while
my brother nodded
desperately.
“i worked on this case all
through the night and i
came to a conclusion that
two people were involved
in the murder. Moreover
one of the security men in
the house admitted seeing
a white lady head to the
garden at the exact time
the crime might have been
committed” he revealed
while i jumped up
hopefully.
“you should arrest the lady
right away, isn’t the
testimony enough to
vindicate me?” i asked
breathlessly. The detective
shook his head and looked
down.
“i’m sorry but it isn’t
enough. The security man
admitted seeing a woman
head to the garden. He
never said he saw her kill
your husband, moreover
the knife cut in your
husband’s chest was strong
and deep. I doubt if any
lady can strike so hard. A
lady equally can’t be able to
drag your husband’s body
from the garden to his
bedroom unless of course
she was assisted. The
fracture on his noise
equally brought up another
fact that the murderer
might have sneaked from
behind, strongly cut off his
breathe by covering his
nose and mouth with one
hand while burying the
knife in his chest.
Something a woman will
find very hard to do.
Anyway we are still
running DNA tests which
will help us put more things
together” he concluded,
while i sighed with
desperation.
“c’mon can’t you just drill
the woman that was
spotted at the scene
instead of wasting the time
we don’t have. Who is the
woman, who is she?” i
asked curiously. The officer
shrugged.
“the security man
unfortunately couldn’t
identify her. According to
him all the white women in
the house that night looked
the same to him” he
answered, shook hands
with my brother and left.
My father came forward
and stared at me for some
seconds, tears blinding his
vision.
“i’m going to the village
today. I’m going to visit the
only living soothsayer in
our clan. He can reveal the
murderer for us” he
informed me slowly. I
couldn’t believe my ears.
“dad noooo, you can’t do
that. You can’t abandon
your Christian believe for
my sake. You are a strong
catholic dad. It hasn’t
gotten to that” i pleaded.
“i can’t sit, watch and do
nothing. Your mother
barely managed to survive
the night. I must do
something, i’m still the head
and protector of my
family” he said strongly. I
bit my lips and looked at
my brother for support, but
all he did was just shrug.
It was obvious they had all
agreed on it before visiting
me.

Funny 30 Alleged Quotes From President ROBERT MUGABE

I think President Mugabe's quotes are funny but we cannot
ignore the lessons behind it cheesy on a lighter note, which number made you laugh the most?

1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is
sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman
father.

2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy
mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop
breastfeeding him.

3. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in
his anus.

4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss
you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella.

5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.
6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to
call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK!
- Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you
take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian
innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was
God's plan, then you would receive your joystick or vagina on
your wedding day.

9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.

10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was
learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's
sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it
from?

11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the
Devil comes along and gives you a 'girlfriend'.

12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't
take a goat as a friend.

13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still
single, you are not different from a Canopy.

14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you
are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face.

15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty
because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking
around with evidence that you've had sex.

17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but
they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? Your level
of selfishness demands a one week crusade.

18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me
for another boy all because he bought a sharpener wid a mirror.

19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a
relationship with a "broke" man who's extremely good in bed.

20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5
minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed.

21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever;
because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become
emotional.

22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts
will suffer the most.

23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's
soup gets suspicious.

24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he
hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn't drill.

25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached Unclad Eve instead
of Unclad Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.

26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to
school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day
but NOT when it's on a drying line.

28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive
from his newly wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any-
longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday
gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection,
Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!"

29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that
wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

30. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free
to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each
others’ phones because they’re private.

MY WEDDING NIGHT EPISODE 6

MY WEDDING NIGHT
(EPISODE 6)
“seriously i don’t think things that
happened when we were
dating has anything to do with his
death, believe me” i said slowly. The officer
simply folded his
hands and breathed
deeply.
“nothing is hidden under the sun for
long. Sooner or later i
still will find out, so i believe it’s in your best
interest to tell
me all i need to know” he pushed with
a smile.
I battled with myself one more time
before making up my
mind to open up. “Damian was stealing from the
company. He was doing it
with a colleague in the records
department. I found out
about the whole deal three weeks into
our relationship but couldn’t do anything apart
from
confront him. He ended up
convincing me to keep quiet, equally
promising to marry
and take me to his home country. His
plan was to get me established over there.
I was a woman in love with a whole
lot to gain. Of course i
kept quiet and helped him steal more.
He kept his word and
married me, only to die before fulfilling the last
part of his
promise. Now what has that got with
his death??” i poured
out with tears.
“and the colleague in question, do you
think he has a hand in his death?” he asked
curiously.
“of course not, they had seperate
accounts and divided
proceeds evenly. No he is much more
valuable alive than
dead to the man” i answered seriously.
“well in a murder case we don’t rule
out any possibility until
the crime is solved. I admire your
honesty. You bravely
confessed being an accomplice to another crime. I
appreciate and will keep my promise
by watching your
back. It should interest you to know
that your husband
might have been murdered in his garden, we saw
some
drops of blood down there, which
now gives us two crime
scenes” he said while i gasped with
shock.
“yea Damian loved smoking and probably went to
the
garden to heat off while i slept, but
how the hell did he get
back to the bed, if he was killed in
there?” i asked with
disbelief. “it’s time to go to your cell my dear. I’ll
permit you to keep
your phone. Just pray something new
never comes out to
incriminate you further, as for now the
lastest discovery works on your side” he added
with a
cold smile, got up and
led me to a quiet cell where I had the
most terrying night
ever.
I kept seeing my dead husband all through that
night. Oh it
was one nasty experience.
Dear friends, I spent the second night
after my wedding in a
police cell. What can be more horrible
than such fate?? To be continued.

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 5

MY WEDDING NIGHT
(EPISODE 5)
On getting to the police headquarters, i
was taken to the
detective’s office where i stayed and
nervously waited for him while he entered another
office
with the white lawyer.
He came in about fifteen minutes later,
smiling calmly.
“i’m really sorry things got so bad as
to bring you back here. Your husband’s family are
trying
everything possible
to make you pay, but don’t worry,
investigation has
commenced. I’m already working on a
theory. You should also know that i have seized
the
travelling passports of
every one of them that spent the night
in that house. You
shouldn’t worry about anything, the
culprit will be caught. I equally had a good cell
prepared for
you” he said seriously,
while tears dropped from my eyes. I
couldn’t imagine
myself spending the night in a police
cell no matter how comfortable it was made to
look.
“one more thing. I need to hear the
whole truth from you
since you want me by your side. That’s
all i ask” the officer
added curiously, drawing out another shock from
me.
“what do you mean by the whole
truth?” i gasped, while he
smiled.
“you see, that’s one problem with
Nigerian women. You all like keepings secrets
even in a terrible
condition. You have
a cop trying to help you, the least you
can do is to come out
clean with him. I spoke with some of
your colleagues today and their answers were
quite
shocking. Most of them said
that your relationship and marriage to
late Damian wasn’t
ordinary. So you got to tell me things i
need to know since you want me by your side” he
pushed
on while i swallowed
hard and fought with myself.
The officer wanted me to open up
something well buried in
my heart, a secret i told no one. “How do i go
about it?” i wondered.
“i know you didn’t commit the murder
but you have to help
me unravel many things. What made
Damian marry you so
quickly, you guys had just a short Romance and
Mr Damian
i was told messed up a lot of ladies in
the company before
getting to you. Something made him
marry you??, don’t tell
me it was love, i have reason to believe
something else was
involved, even after the threats and
reports you got, never
for a moment did you guys quarrel.
Please don’t use the
love bullshit on me. I need the truth?” he pushed
on
seriously.
There wasn’t any doubt the officer did
a good background
check on me but digging deep into my
relationship with Damian was only going to
deteriorate
matters for me. Some
things are better left buried and
unsaid but looking at his
eyes, i saw curiousity and eagerness
to know all about the hidden truth..
Stay in touch for episode 6

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 4

MY WEDDING NIGHT
(EPISODE 4)
As we got up to leave, i passionately
pleaded to the detective to help me out. “seriously i have no hand in my husband’s death. You have to help me. You have to do something” I pleaded desperately. “as long as you are innocent, you have no problem with me. I’m a good cop. I promise to get to the
bottom of this case” The middle aged officer promised while my brother smiled with relief.
“now you are talking officer. Don’t let
them intimidate or stop you from doing the right thing” he advised as they shook hands.
On our way out of the force headquarters, my brother held me
on the shoulder and whispered in my ear.
“you have to be strong my dear. Everything happens for a
purpose. Please you have to be strong
when facing our parents ,
they are very devastated” he begged
quietly while more tears fell from my eyes. I really didn’t know how to face my old parents, especially mum who braved her sickness to witness my
wedding ceremony.
Nevertheless, we first headed to Damian’s house after leaving
the police headquarters in order to
pick up my things, but on getting to the house, we were stopped by four
policemen who told us that they had orders not to allow anyone pick up even a pin from the house. “madam this place is now a crime scene.
You can come back tomorrow to pick your things. As for now we have orders not to allow anybody pick up anything
from the house” one of the
officers said, leaving me speechless.
“i think it’s a good development. A
piece of evidence might still be lying around who knows. The police are
really correct with this decision” My brother’s lawyer said in agreement. And sowe had no choice than to turn back
and head to my brother’s house where every member of my family was waiting for me. It really was such a painful scene as every one of them cried on
sighting me, especially my poor
mother who sobbed uncontrollably.
“this marriage was just a huge
mistake. oh no” she cried painfully. However another big development
occurred at exactly 5pm when detective Jeremiah showed up once again with a team of policemen and a white man
who looked like a lawyer to arrest me.
“i’m sorry, the order came from the
I.G’s office. It has nothing to do with me” he said as a handcuff was
thrown round my wrists, putting my entire family into another wave of shock.
My brother as usual tried to defend me
by creating a scene but had to shut up when the white lawyer threatened to arrest him as an accomplice in the
murder charge I was facing.
“don’t worry, I will protect you” the
detective whispered to my ear as he led me away. This time, there wasn’t anything to save me from cooling off in
a police cell.
To be continued

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 3

MY WEDDING NIGHT
(EPISODE 3)
As soon as i got to the police station, I
called my elder brother
who couldn’t believe all i told him.
“hold on tight my dear. I’ll be there shortly” he
assured me.
I was quickly led to an office where i
was asked to write a
statement, which i nervously did while
Damian’s two cousins
who came with me kept talking to each other.
After writing all i
knew on the note book, a female
officer showed up to question
me. I tried my best to convince her.
“just look at me. How possible do you
think a Nigerian girl would murder a husband
taking her
out of the country to
celebrate their marriage?. I didn’t do it.
One of them did. You
got to help me” i begged. She
shrugged and shook her head. “of course i believe
you. You have no
reason to kill him but you
see i’m just an ordinary officer taking
orders from my
superiors, anyway i believe my boss.
S.P Jeremiah will know how to handle your case.
He’s a good
man and a crime expert”
she assured me.
My brother showed up minutes later
with his Lawyer who
quickly took over my case. I told them all i knew
and the events
that happened after i discovered the
dead body. My brother was
totally shocked.
“don’t worry my dear. I know this is
going to be a tough case. I smell the American
Embassy getting involved but be rest assured that i will go any length to
prove your innocence, even
if it means getting experts from
abroad. I have friends who can examine the case
and get results” he
promised seriously. I
breathed deeply and hugged him,
thanking God for giving me a
wealthy and intelligent brother.
Officer Jeremiah soon showed up at his office and
requested for our presence. Damian’s cousins
officially accused me before
him, asking that i should be detained
but my brother’s lawyer
intervened quickly. “officer i hope you know
everyone that passed the night in that
house is a suspect?. They all had
access to the bedroom, anyone
of them could have committed the
crime. If you guys are going to detain my client
without proper evidence and reason. You
equally should detain all the people
present that night, else i will
be the person to file a lawsuit against
the police, after all none of them can come
forward to testify seeing my client murder her
husband” the lawyer threatened,
putting the officer in a tight
position.
“fine i’m not going to detain her, but you will
have to sign a
document which places her in your
custody. This is a murder
case” the officer said strongly, while
my brother’s lawyer
nodded in acceptance, Damian’s cousins
protested.

The document was signed in no time
and i was free to go.
“we are also getting a court permit
which will enable us get our
own team of investigators and go through the
case. We are not
going to take any chances” my lawyer
said to the officer who
shrugged and smiled.
“this is bullshit, we are heading to the
embassy” Damian’s cousins threatened and left
with
anger. It was obvious i had a
long case ahead of me. Luckily i had a
brother who equally had
the means to defend me and catch the
culprit…. watch out for the next episodes

MY WEDDING NIGHT - Episode 2

MY WEDDING NIGHT (Episode 2)
I really can’t write how hurt and empty
i was that fateful morning. I can’t
describe how devastated i was nor
how my heart bled. I was totally
broken and dead. I couldn’t even call
my brother to tell him the bad situation
i found myself. In fact my soul and my
spirit ran away from me. I was just a
shadow of myself. The devil just took
time to urinate on my destiny.

Damian’s mother never bothered nor
cared about my feelings, instead pulled
out the knife from her son’s body
when my cries brought her to the
room and almost stabbed me with
fury, screaming some incoherent
words, until other members of the
family came in and held her. “i said it;
nothing good ever comes out of Africa.

She stabbed him, she probably did it in
her sleep, or maybe it’s witchcraft.

God save my soul” the old woman
screamed and cried. I simply sat
beside the bed and cried out my heart.
I was just like a cornered rat. I was
simply in the midst of foreigners. In the
midst of people who saw me as a
second class animal or probably a gold
digger. None of them spoke to me nor
asked how it all happened. I barely had
changed my night wear when an
ambulance arrived with men from the
force headquarters. Before i knew what
was happening, i found myself at the
back of a police SUV while the
perpetrator of the crime walked freely,
probably watching the unfolding events
from a safe distance. Another problem
i had was that i didn’t know who to
suspect nor accuse. They all looked
the same to me. They were all a bunch
of conspirators. I felt like taking my life
as the police took me away, because
there wasn’t any need living again. I
knew the justice system would easily
convict and close the case than
investigating. “Who am i among a
bunch of whites all accusing me of
murder??”. I had nothing to prove my
innocence. I was the only person in the
room with Damian. The murder
weapon which might have saved me
through finger print test was already
compromised by Damian’s mother. My
life was nothing but over. Kiri kiri
prison awaited me with a dark smile.
How do i save myself?, how do i prove
my innocence?.
To be continued....

EPISODE 1 : MY WEDDING NIGHT (An intresting Story)

MY WEDDING NIGHT
Episode 1
I
write with Tears
I woke up after my wedding night to
see a knife buried in my husband’s
chest, our bed sheet soaked with
blood. I couldn’t believe my eyes, i
couldn’t believe it was all real. I held
my dead husband and looked around.
“no this can’t be happening” i breathed,
trying hard to control myself. But it
was all real, Damian was cold and still.
He was dead for real. “nooo” i sobbed
quietly, wondering what to do,
wondering the next step to take. There
was any doubt, i was about
experiencing a very terrible twist in my
life. Damian was definitely murdered by
someone who was so desperate to
destroy my happiness. I sat down on
the floor while my mind flashed back
to how i met my husband. After NYSC,
early the previous year. I came to
Abuja to live with my elder brother
who was a doctor in one of the city
hospitals. He had no problem getting
me a good job in a very popular
construction company inside the city.

Seriously i counted myself as a very
lucky girl because i was the first to get
a job among all my classmates and
friends. I started work in Damian’s
office as a secretary and that was
when my life took a dramatic turn.

Damian who was my boss, a white
and an American citizen quickly took
interest in me. He was so sweet and
caring but equally a womanizer.

Everyone warned me to be careful. My
colleagues advised me to be
professional when dealing with him
and never give in to his demands,
which i obeyed. But surprisingly he
continued disturbing me, even after
turning him down so many times. The
more i turned him away, the more
bolder he got. This continued until i
finally gave in to him. We had a very
sweet relationship that soon became
the talk of the town. As our
relationship progressed, i started
getting threats from his old girlfriends
both in Nigeria and abroad, but it never
stopped me from giving up on him.

Three months into the relationship, he
proposed to me and met my people,
drawing another shock from everyone,
especially the white community. Our
marriage was quickly fixed and i
insisted for it to be done in Nigeria
because of my family and friends
which he accepted without hesitation.

Damian’s mother, family members and
friends arrived the country two days to
our wedding. I had a very long talk
with his mum and cousins who all
tried to be nice to me even though the
resentment on their faces were
noticeable. The church wedding and
reception went very well. Damian really
spared no cost in organising the whole
show. We planned travelling to Dubai
the next day for our honeymoon, which
made us spend our first night as
husband and wife in his big house
where almost all his family members
and friends slept. Anyone of them
could have crept into the room as we
slept and struck him, but there wasn’t
any doubt i would be the major
suspect…. “Oh no” i wailed with a loud
voice, drawing the attention of
everyone in the house. Within minutes,
almost every member of the white
community was in Damian’s house. It
was as if they were all waiting for such
news…. I couldn’t believe i was married
only for one night…

Check Homepage for Other Episodes

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

3 Important Traits of the Most Successful Entrepreneurs By Mark Zuckerberg

n a live Q&A in Rome on Monday, September 2, Facebook
founder, Mark Zuckerberg was asked to name three traits of
people who made it to the top.
First and foremost, successful entrepreneurs have a specific vision,
the Facebook CEO said.

Today, we will be

teaching the difference between 'been ' and ' being '.

A heartbreaking photo posted to Reddit by a grieving
granddaughter has shown this vow come true for one couple
after 77 years. User RealLiveGirl, from California, shared an
image of her grandparents to the social network with the
caption: "My Grandma, 96, with my Grandpa, 100, hours before
her death this weekend. 77 years of marriage.

My wife’s death and what has happened to me is a lesson to Nigerians - CAC's Prophet Samuel Abiara

Prophet Samuel Abiara and Late wife

The general Evangelist of the Christ Apostolic Church, Prophet
Samuel Abiara, who lost his wife, Prophetess Christiana Abiara, on
Saturday said he had the premonition of her death.

This are little things that can totally spoil our
day

1. Low Battery

Back in 90’s nobody bothered about their phone running low
on battery but these days, when our cell phone batteries run
low, we go berserk.

This man was seen in Port Harcourt with a placard saying he’s willing
to relocate to Bornu just to work for Linda Ikeji.

This is coming after he was first seen in Port Harcourt with a placard
begging to work for Linda Ikeji. See below…

A suspected robber has been arrested by the Police in
Asamankese in the Eastern region after he was caught
sleeping in the bedroom of an SDA Pastor.

The 27-year-old suspect was found half naked and deeply
asleep on the bed of Pastor Asare Nyarko, having broken
into the room through the ceiling to steal properties of the
Pastor.

A young man got himself killed at Aboru, Lagos because he
could not pay his house rent and feed his family. See more
photos after cut...

The Lagos State Police Command has arrested one Tanko
Abdulateef, a 22-year old House guard who allegedly killed his
employer, Mrs Mabel Mba Okafor in Ajah area of the State on
August 17, 2016.

Tips To Help Your Teenager Maintain A Good Hygiene

Are you having a hard time getting your teenagers to imbibe
great hygiene habits?

Here some tips that will help them to keep clean.

1. Changing clothes: Before puberty, a preteen kid may have gotten away with
wearing the same shirt or even the same underwear and same
socks, day after day, without anyone noticing.

After puberty, that won't fly because this age group comes with
hard headedness and tendencies to be lazy. Teach your teens to
understand that along with showering, wearing clean clothes
each day is an important part of teen hygiene.

Some teens at this point prefer darker coloured clothes so they
can repeat wears without washing, or spray key areas of clothes
like underarms. This habit should not be encouraged. It only
worsens body odour.

Point out that cotton clothes absorb sweat better than other
materials.

2. Shaving and hair removal: When hair is noticed on your son's upper lip or on your
daughter's legs, offer a brief course on razor use.

Girls may also be interested in hair removal products. You can
go over the options with them.

3. Maintaining good oral health: Teens can get pretty lax about their oral hygiene. Teens love to
chew gum. Brushing, tongue cleaning and flossing are crucial,
especially if they drink coffee, sugary, acidic sodas and sports
drinks.

It's not only about tooth decay. Bad oral hygiene leads to bad
breath - and that's something that no teen wants.

4. Understanding the body: Talking about good teen hygiene also means talking about
puberty. Girls need to know about breast development and
menstruation.

Boys need to know about erections and wet dreams.
Don't tiptoe around these subjects. If they don't get the
information from you, they'll get some distorted version of it
from their peers.

I love your teen, I love your teen's health.

Few Things You Need to Know About The Only Nigerian Female Barber in Sokoto

‘Barbing’ is generally considered an exclusive job for males. But in Sokoto, a state which one would consider as conservative, due to it being the seat of the Caliphate, a woman braced the

odds and became the only female barber.

Here are 7 things you should know about her:

1) Her name is Maryann Chisom.

2) She is 25 years old.

3) She hails from mbitoli local government area of Imo state.

4) 98 percent of her customers are reportedly male, including

clergies and Alhajis among others.

5) She completed her Primary, Secondary and Tertiary education in Sokoto.

6) She holds a National Diploma in Public Administration and plans to go for her HND next year.

7) She has been ‘barbing’ for almost three years and learned it as an apprentice for about five months.

Maryann Chisom attending to a customer.

Source : Informationng

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