Funny 30 Alleged Quotes From President ROBERT MUGABE

I think President Mugabe's quotes are funny but we cannot
ignore the lessons behind it cheesy on a lighter note, which number made you laugh the most?

1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is
sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman
father.

2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy
mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop
breastfeeding him.

3. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in
his anus.

4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss
you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella.

5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.
6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to
call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK!
- Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you
take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian
innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was
God's plan, then you would receive your joystick or vagina on
your wedding day.

9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.

10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was
learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's
sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it
from?

11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the
Devil comes along and gives you a 'girlfriend'.

12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't
take a goat as a friend.

13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still
single, you are not different from a Canopy.

14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you
are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face.

15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty
because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking
around with evidence that you've had sex.

17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but
they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? Your level
of selfishness demands a one week crusade.

18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me
for another boy all because he bought a sharpener wid a mirror.

19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a
relationship with a "broke" man who's extremely good in bed.

20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5
minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed.

21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever;
because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become
emotional.

22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts
will suffer the most.

23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's
soup gets suspicious.

24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he
hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn't drill.

25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached Unclad Eve instead
of Unclad Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.

26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to
school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day
but NOT when it's on a drying line.

28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive
from his newly wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any-
longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday
gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection,
Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!"

29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that
wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

30. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free
to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each
others’ phones because they’re private.